Chemo Sucks- Like Really Sucks

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So my bone marrow transplant was finally going to happen. We checked in to the oncology floor that would be a second home for the next few months. I had a room with a bed, cabinet, pull out couch, built-in desk, tv, and private bathroom. And around all of that... tons and tons of medical equipment: nurses station, heart monitors, coding equipment (which was never used!), etc. I had already had a central line put in my chest so that the IV drugs could be more easily administered. A central line is basically a huge tube that goes directly to your heart and has two ports- one for putting in IV drugs, one for drawing blood. Central lines can stay in you for months or even years at a time. Anyways, I brought my suitcases, unpacked, and settled in. I had no idea I was heading straight into a huge storm. That optimism I had was good and bad. It was bad because horrible things would happen and I never saw them coming. It was also great because I think my optimism helped me ward off the bad things that could have potentially happened. I have always believed in mind over matter.

They began my chemo treatments on August 12. My first nasty encounter happened that day. I found out that I was allergic to one of the chemo drugs. It made my veins all throughout my body feel like they were on fire for about 30 minutes to an hour. My mouth burned and my eyes stung. And they worst part? I had to receive it three times a day. The doctors had never heard of anyone having an allergy to that kind of chemo. I was the first which somehow didn't surprise us- we were used to me being medically abnormal at that point. I dreaded those doses of chemo. We prepared for it by having my parents bring ice chips to my room so that I had something cold to suck on to soothe my burning mouth. We even tried having the on hand massage therapist (yes- the hospital had a massage therapist) come to my room during one of my doses to see if it would help. But it didn't. I would just recline my bed, stare at the ceiling, and have tears trickle down my face as I laid there and endured the fire running through my body. That burning made the list one of the top 10 worst pains of my life.

After day six of 10 of chemo treatments, they tested my blood toxicity and found that I had already had too much chemo. It was something about my metabolism being slow- how lovely. So for the last four days I did not receive any more chemo and I was thrilled. But it began to take it's toll. After about day seven, I was throwing up every few hours. I didn't want any food and my body began to get a little weaker. But vomiting never bothered me. I would just say "bucket" (they wanted me to vom in a bucket to record my "ins and outs"), someone would hand it to me, I would chuck up whatever food I may have managed to have gotten down an hour ago, hand it to a nurse, and then continue what I was doing. At the beginning, I would read a lot, do Wii Fit, play board games, and surf the internet. It was definitely a tolerable process. And I was optimistic and happy. I was changing my life for the better and I knew that whatever pain I suffered would be worth it in the end.

Finally we got to what was called Day 0 on August 22nd. It was like a countdown. Day 0 was when I finally got my transplant. But even that didn't go as planned...